Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Life is too short to...

Life is too short to:

Pluck my eyebrows
Moisturise - see what a slut I am
Clean behind furniture
Clean anything that doesn't show
Iron sheets
Iron anything that I am not just about to wear
Transplant seedlings
Read Proust
Master physics
Learn French grammar
Argue the toss
Jog
Ski
Shop at Lidl's
Get an HGV licence
Wear killer heels
Get religion
Learn to love football
Take arachnophobia therapy

But then it always was and now I might just:

Stuff a mushroom
Learn the tango
Paint a masterpiece

Feminist friends I know I used the term master twice in this post but mistress doesn't go and life is too short to be one of those as well; I might have to shave my legs for God's sake

2 comments:

  1. Jean

    I love your blog - you say the right things and say them well.

    As a feminist I forgive master (though would not have done in the mid-late 80s!)

    Can I add to the list lose weight, clean the cupboard under the stairs, learn mandarin and read life improving tomes. As a fellow lung mettie though I do have time for the school run (I normally work full time), cooking lovely fine food, seeing friends and having fun..

    Dot

    ReplyDelete
  2. At 28 I think my life is too short for all of these things already or in fact too long to bear the thought of doing these things each day! I have ironed once in my life and burnt the carpet, I have moisturised once in my life; it stung my eyes, I don't change the sheets let alone iron them. But then I am the daughter of a feminist slut so what hope did I have.

    I will carry on fighting the good fight for Trainor Sluts...what would nanny think!?

    Love your slutty daughter

    ReplyDelete