I smiled nicely at them all and made the odd quip. While I waited I did the Killer Sudoko - deadly grade and did it in 30 mins instead of the 71 they reckoned it would take. Take heed deadly things!I read the Homes and Gardens they had there and gawked at a couple with a £40K budget to do up their bathroom; ended up looking like the loos at Euston in my opinion. Just got started on the Times crossword when they called my name.I'd been looking at the people coming out before me and they all looked a bit on the shattered side especially the relatives; so swallow hard and in we go, big smile.
I say I feel fine when he asks apart from the funny shoulder, the slight cough when I laugh and the raging toothache I had in France. Only the cough is of interest so I dont mention the funny pain in my big toe; don't want him to think I am a nutter. We look at the Xrays and once I have located the bit I am supposed to be looking at I can see about four blobs and I ask how big; biggest 2 and a bit cm he says; and not much bigger than last time. No dramatic change he says. What next then? I ask about surgery and he repeats it wont work because there are too many- so we count them and we reckon about 20 most of them teeny weeny but just waiting to get going it would seem.
So chemo then and I can if I like but he says wait till after Christmas and see what things look like because you are still well (on the outside anyway!) I swallow my English politeness and ask should I see someone else and yes he thinks I should if it makes me feel better; so I am off to see Ian Judson at the Marsden who is the main man I am told.
We talk about NICE and a new drug and push the nastiness away again. Doesnt bother me as long as we can keep doing that again and again and again.
How do I feel? not very different; glad I haven't got a tennis ball sized one yet; glad I am taking some positive action and if I am honest glad I haven't got to face having my chest sawn open!
We live to fight another day and yippee I will have hair for Christmas.