Friday, November 13, 2009

Being a leftie

I hope I dont lose any of my new blogging friends by this posting but those of you who know me are well aware that I have always been a bit of a leftie. Now I am coming round to the view that I am taking it all too far - as I am sure my past friends who have deserted and gone over to New Labour might agree. It has just struck me that from as far back as I can remember things have always gone wrong on my right side. I look at the gravel rash you can still see on my right knee; I remember spraining my right ankle one day rushing through London in my professional prime. When I was about 33 a fishbone or something pierced my colon forming a nasty bursting thingie in my insides - yes guess what it was all on the right side. So where else would the LMS invader breach my defences but deep in the right of me. And which one of my lungs has the biggest blob, the right one of course.

If I look in the mirror, (only mildly disturbing if I do it face on but in profile surely not, no that mass of sagging flesh cannot be me) I now look like one of those adverts for before and after where they draw a line down the middle of a mildly disturbing looking person showing one side all bloated, bald or baggy and the other side springing hair or restored to smooth curvy lines.

So the question is should I change direction; become middle of the road or God help me steer to the right? I think not, I would be in danger of messing up the whole picture; and being neither fish nor fowl. Not unknown in the messy world we live in but not, in my view, leading to much progress.

So I will keep my left side strong and keep on battling those gremlins on the right; or alternatively just get them to saw me in half!

1 comment:

  1. From what I remember, should you decide on the sawing option, the remaining half of your brain would take over, plus it would only have half as much to deal with. Oh, but I also seem to remember that the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body. So maybe a sort of zig zag compromise?
    All rather unpleasant to contemplate. Don't sack Mrs. Poole just yet (though Sam wouldn't agree). However, I definitely think you should get rid of the damn mirror. I know from personal experience that's a downer you just don't need. What you DO need to remember is that we don't see your bloats and bags, we just see the Jean that we all know and love!!